When the moon reflects the truth of the soul.
A reflection on change and on love
You can listen to this reflection here (in Estonian)
On a day when the Sun shines from a clear blue sky and silver flakes reflect off the sparkling snow, it is easy to forget that there are also those days when the clouds have pressed themselves so densely into the sky that not a gram of light reaches the room. Everything changes, and that is eternal.
Why then do we hold the illusion that the one I am today can stay the same? You can only reproach the Sun for not shining so mightily on some days when there is too little light left inside you and there is an expectation that the outside will fill that emptiness. The mind understands how foolish that is, but the feelings do not obey it. They never will, because otherwise we would be machines and not human beings.
The waves of feeling are clearly visible in the light of the full moon. The crispness at the time of the last full moon created a wonderful chance to sense the whole universe as ether, sucked empty of lies and nonsense, revealing only the deepest truth of the soul. So fragile and tender, as if it would break at once, and at the same time so dense and still that it carries the soul back to the beginning of the creation of the world, so that it would remember why it is here.
The Moon reflects back to the soul everything on the surface, the lies we tell ourselves in order not to change all the way yet. It is no longer possible to hide. Once you have really seen your own soul, do not retreat. Trust! Really, simply trust that the change being born in you will not take away what now seems important and dear. It may happen, but not so that you should suffer, rather so that you can come even more into yourself and experience something deeper and more powerful. The most important thing, though, is that the pain that has held you back for so long, that has prevented you from truly widening the space of your heart, is what changes. That old thing will not leave you until you allow it to go. When we clean the room, we unload all outdated software and beliefs. Ether. A powerful creating is born already when you make that decision, the solutions and the details descend afterwards. And certainly not before. The universe has nothing to answer to when no direction has been born inside the person. That is free will. The inner change always happens first, and only then does the outside begin to nod along and show the true extent of the change, like eagle wings stretching out to fly. There are moments where the small child inside would like to sulk and say, let the outside change first and then I will be a good child. But you know that it does not work that way. TRUST! Trust the guidance of your own soul! Go where you need to go and leave unvisited what is not the right place, but choose according to yourself, because that activates your power. All the accusations and the “buts” aimed at the outer world take your strength away. Why do that?
I hear the objections, but wait a moment. How much do you give? How much do you receive? How much do you dare to love? And to receive love? Breathe. Which is harder, breathing in or breathing out? Love is also like a breath, it has to move in and out of a person in balance in order to experience contentment and relationships that fill the soul.
Sometimes it happens that giving to others is greater than receiving. Let me give you a very simple example. If I have ten of my most favourite, most delicious sweets and I give one of them away to make someone else happy, then I still have plenty left and it brings joy easily to both of us. Then the giving happens from overflow and without expectations. But if I give away nine, then a part of me is constantly waiting for the other to notice how much I gave them. An unconscious hope is added, that the other would give back too, at least as much, would notice your deed and your effort or acknowledge it especially. But there is a tension there in the form of expectation, which no one can ever fulfil. It is the kind of tension our culture has previously placed on children, that when the parents are old, the children’s duty is to care for them in such a way that they give back everything the parents gave them. But that is not possible, because when someone gives you life, there is nothing great enough to put on the other side of the scales except gratitude and love. No act of service can fulfil that false expectation. What is possible, though, is to love one another mutually, because it is precisely sincere love that balances the energies. But both have to take part in it, in the act of giving as well as receiving, and then it works. Over-giving in relationships creates many problems, and everyone can change that themselves when they are honest with themselves and choose their deeds and doings in accord with themselves. Only then can relationships be cleansed of that old burden and begin to blossom in pure and sincere love and in the balance of giving and receiving.
Healthy love does not wait or assume, it reaches balance in itself and then notices that shining sun and the wonderful sparkling souls around it, with gratitude!
Thank you for being with me!
Until we meet!
